Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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