i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
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