meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You may now shotgun with the bride
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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