Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize