Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
