Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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