Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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