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• (206): View more from Washington

  My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....

  (614): View more from Ohio

  We've got ourselves a situation

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Personally I think it's a tremendous investment

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka

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  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.

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• (818): View more from California

  I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.

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• (310): View more from California

  Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.

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