consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.