I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
