Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.

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  (650): Not a fireman, but good enough for last night. http://tfl.nu/537l
  Replies (2) Good night (911) Bad night (416)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello

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  (703): Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello http://tfl.nu/a1cc
  Replies (3) Good night (901) Bad night (445)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  id be glad to

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  (804): id be glad to http://tfl.nu/spx7
  Replies (19) Good night (1616) Bad night (1271)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You guys are open that late?

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  (703): Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges." (610): You guys are open that late? http://tfl.nu/gb5t
  Replies (17) Good night (917) Bad night (3875)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.

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  (305): She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself. http://tfl.nu/c54w
  Replies (57) Good night (787) Bad night (5389)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...

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  (715): and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat... http://tfl.nu/4hvy
  Replies (26) Good night (2269) Bad night (3337)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?

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  (832): Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions? http://tfl.nu/z9u9
  Replies (14) Good night (3174) Bad night (1674)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.

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  (201): Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues. http://tfl.nu/ggrc
  Replies (11) Good night (1084) Bad night (2714)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.

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  (206): Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence. http://tfl.nu/f8os
  Replies (10) Good night (2454) Bad night (872)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.

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  (405): I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you. http://tfl.nu/on2x
  Replies (4) Good night (1282) Bad night (827)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.

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  (214): Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff. http://tfl.nu/wfam
  Replies (3) Good night (458) Bad night (1194)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.

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  (865): Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts. http://tfl.nu/is6y
  Replies (7) Good night (1445) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"

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  (540): Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home" http://tfl.nu/xfn6
  Replies (7) Good night (1341) Bad night (254)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.

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  (617): Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though. http://tfl.nu/qelj
  Replies (4) Good night (351) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.

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  (540): He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog. http://tfl.nu/zanv
  Replies (0) Good night (233) Bad night (360)

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