My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
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I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
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His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.