man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.