I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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