your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
