someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
how does that bad decision feel?
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