Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
