I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
