Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
