I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
