i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Holy shit dude........stairs
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