I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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