He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
