How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
