We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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