pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize