apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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