I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
