Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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