and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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