you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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