It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
