Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I currently don't understand fingers.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize