who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
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Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
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I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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