We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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