I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
