My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
