it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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