this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
