I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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