I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
