it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
