I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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