i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
