didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
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Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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