Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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