Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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