I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
