hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
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I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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