that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
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As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
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It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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