I smell stomach acid.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
