Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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