You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
