A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
