Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
