im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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