When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just want nice things and good sex
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
