Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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