Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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