My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
my liver is dry heaving
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
