At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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