I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
