thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
