i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Mom said you looked used
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
