No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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